Flirting For A Long-Term RelationshipSharon Jacobsen Have you ever wondered why we flirt I mean, weve all done it at some time but its one of those things that we do without really giving any though to why or how. Quite simply, flirtings our way of letting the opposite sex know that were available. What it says were available for depends entirely on how we flirt but for the sake of this article, Ill concentrate on the flirting thats done when youre with somebody you might like to develop a committed relationship with. If youre a bit on the shy side, perhaps lacking in self confidence after being away from the singles scene for a long time, flirting can be quite a daunting task. It isnt difficult. Its like everything else; practice makes perfect so if you want to be a successful flirt on the serious dating scene, you need to start sticking your toes back in the water before you dive in after the big fish. Find a few fellas who you think are nice but are unlikely to bump into at the local post-office or your regular watering hole and practice your flirting skills on them. If you get it wrong the most youll lose is the time you spent flirting but youll have learned a lot. When you start to feel confident, thats the time to home in on the guy of your dreams and show him what youre made of. * Smile Picture the scene. Youre sitting at a pavement cafe on a warm, sunny day. A reasonably nice looking guy walks past, glances in your direction but looks as miserable as sin. Five minutes later another reasonably nice looking guy walks past. This one looks across as you and smiles. Which of them would you most likely want to get to know better My bets that youd go with the second guy, simply because he smiled. A smile immediately gives your appearance more warmth so youll seem more open and inviting to others. When he talks, smile in appropriate places. Dont sit there grinning like a Cheshire cat; at best youll appear false, at worse hell think youve forgotten to take your medication. A smile shows interest and best of all, its contagious. * Eye Contact Everybody enjoys looking at something they find appealing and you dont want him to think you dont fancy him, do you If youre shy or insecure about flirting youll perhaps find it difficult to hold his gaze for a moment longer than you should but you really MUST look at him when hes speaking. Looking at everything else will just say "that crack in the pavements more interesting to look at than you" and thats hardly what you want, is it If, on the other hand, youre super confident, dont go making the reverse mistake and spend the evening staring at him. Men may love to boast to their mates that "she couldnt take her eyes off me" but in reality, being stared at makes a person feel awkward and embarrassed. * Touch Him A difficult one, this! Especially if youre shy. Think back to primary school and that boy who fancied you or fancied your mate, or whoever. Remember how he used to push you in the corridor or pull your hair in the playground Its hardly strange we find it difficult to understand the opposite sex when thats how they behave when they fancy us but it was all about having the opportunity to touch us. Now that were older we have to find other ways of touching one another without appearing to be too intimate. Dancings a good solution, as is touching his arm or knee when laughing together. Losing your balance slightly whilst walking together so that you have to reach out and balance yourself against hims another good ploy, as is asking him to help you on with your coat. * Feel Sexy Dress to feel sexy but remember that sexy isnt about showing it all. In fact, it isnt necessarily about showing anything! The way the fabric feels against your skin, heels and wearing your frillies underneath your dress can all make a woman feel sexy without looking cheap. The really good news though, is when a woman feels sexy shell automatically appear sexy to the opposite sex. * Show Interest Sounds pretty obvious doesnt it, but sometimes its easy to think were showing interest even though the signals are actually saying something else. Showing interest is a mix of all whats gone before; not looking at the floor instead of at him, touching him when you have the chance, looking him in the eye and smiling, but above all, its about listening to what hes saying and asking questions. If you were interesting in buying a house, Im should youd listen keenly to what the owner or estate agent had to say and ask plenty of questions, wouldnt you Do the same when youre interested in a man! After all, how importants a house compared with a loving, supportive life partner * Appreciate Your Date Whether youve had lunch, taken a walk around the park or spent an evening together, thank him for it and tell him how much youve enjoyed it. Dont go OTT; just say youve had a lovely time and that hes been good company. Whatever you do, dont leave the date without letting him know that youre available for another. By saying nothing youre likely to leave him believing that you dont want to see him again. At the very least, youd leave him feeling confused and if his self-confidence isnt right up there next to the likes of Mick Jagger and Peter Stringfellow, hes hardly likely to call again. Saying something like "give me a call if you fancy doing it again" will open the way for him to make further contact. Playing hard to get rarely works. Now its up to you to get out there and start practising your flirting skills. It may seem like a daunting task right now but believe me, it wont be long before flirting becomes second nature and youll be wondering what the fuss was all about. Have fun.
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